Taint

T’ain’t no better ‘n years before. T’ain’t worse. There’s just a taint on everthang.

I’m smack dab in the t’ain’t. T’ain’t Christmas and t’ain’t New Years.

Texas colloquialisms aside, it’s always been a weird week for me—for many people. Shall I leave up the Christmas tree for another week this year cuz I love basking in the glow of Holiday feeling—or am I really just too damn lazy to clean up the mess? Wait another week until it hits you—that thing needs to come down. The cookies will be stale—it’ll be January for Christ’s sake. The baby Jesus was born, swaddled, burped, given all that Frankincense and Myrrh and such—it’s time to move on. Mother Mary’s got this.

People all over are trying to hang onto that extra week off work despite the fear of inbox hell that awaits. Or they’re traveling home from family licking their wounds. School hasn’t started. There’s much to be done. No one feels like doing it. The t’ain’t.

For me—I’m trying to hang onto the glow of my wedding day 12 days ago. T’ain’t single no more. T’ain’t nuttin’ better ‘n my baby.

Seeing a bunch of my dearest friends at my wedding couple weeks back brought back some fun memories from our university days. God—has it really been 47 years since we all met?

1976 had kind of a weird taint. T’weren’t the sixties no more and we hadn’t grown into those weird, epic eighties yet baby! Forty-seven years ago. Much has changed. Much has not. T’ain’t easy to tell by looking at the news what year it is.

My best buds and I all graduated high school in ‘76. Unbeknownst to one another. We were Bicentennial grads! How cool were we? 1976 was also a leap year—for what that’s worth. We entered Southern Methodist University in Dallas—our yet informed pack was mostly from the Midwest. A bunch from St. Louis—a few from KC—the Chicago area—and a whole pack of Texans. None of us were poor, but by SMU standards we were a single line item on the spreadsheet. Legacy freshmen from Foat Wuth and Highland Park and Midland and River Oaks in Houston were driving new Beemers and 911s to the dorm. We were not. Ole and new oil money alike flowed freely through the bars and restaurants surrounding Bishop Blvd and Mockingbird Lane. We found each other walking, riding our bikes, and riding around in Roger’s black Chevy pedo-van. We formed our tribe—and it has lasted nearly 50 years.

In response to the 26th Amendment which lowered the voting age from from 21 to 18, thirty states lowered their drinking age in response—mostly during ‘72 and ‘73. Texas was one of them. It was on.

There are some powerful parallels between 1976 and today. Harvard Professor of Philosophy George Santayana is credited with the phrase, “Those who do not learn history are doomed to repeat it.” Mark Twain is famously quoted as saying, “History doesn’t repeat itself, but it does rhyme.”

The Winter Olympics were held in Innsbruck, Austria. Franz Klammer won an exciting downhill. Seymour Cray released the first commercially available supercomputer. Star Wars began filming in Tunisia. Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak launched a small company called Apple.

The United States vetoed a United Nations resolution that called for an independent Palestinian State. Israeli airborne commandos freed 103 hostages being held by Palestinian hijackers of an Air France plane at Uganda’s Entebbe Airport. Tiananmen Square happened in China. “Frampton Comes Alive” was the year’s best-selling album. Concorde flight service to Washington DC began. The NBA and ABA agreed to merge.

A mass shooting at Cal State Fullerton resulted in seven dead. Barbara Jordan became the first African American to keynote a political convention. Romanian gymnast Nadia Comaneci scored seven perfect 10s at the Summer Olympics in Montreal. Bruce (now Caitlin) Jenner won the gold medal in the men’s Decathlon. The Viking 1 landed on Mars. The Big Thompson River canyon flooded in Colorado killing 143.

The Seattle Seahawks played their first NFL game. The Ramones played their first professional gig at CBGB in NYC. Family Feud debuted on ABC. The first known outbreak of Ebola occured in Zaire. Cigarette and tobacco advertising was banned on television. Hurricane Liza killed more than 600 people on the Baja coast of Mexico. Bob Marley was shot at his home in Kingston, Jamaica. California’s sodomy law got repealed. Quarterback Peyton Manning was born. So was Twitter creator Jack Dorsey.

Ronald Reagan and Gerald Ford split the loyalties of the Republican Party and we elected our nicest, most untainted by Washington, and perhaps our most ineffective President—Jimmy Carter.

“Same as it ever was, same as it ever was”

The movie Network was released in November of 1976. The film garnered numerous Academy Award nominations and 4 Oscars, including a posthumous Best Actor award for Peter Finch, who died following the film and prior to the award ceremony. The signature scene could be played on screens today with remarkable accuracy representing the sentiment of many Americans.

Some of what happened in 1976 left a taint on us—some of it a glow—even today. Some of it we’re still repeating in the same tired way. Some of the seeds of today’s angst were born in that year. T’ain’t but a minute ago in the grand scheme.

“you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife
And you may ask yourself, "Well, how did I get here?"

Trying something different was one of the key lessons wrangled from my decades-long attempt at escaping my compulsion—my addiction—to substances. If doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is truly the definition of insanity, then isn’t the uncertainty of trying something different worth the risk? Methinks yes. But it took me a long time to overcome that fear of the unknown. The worst imaginable feeling is staying in the t’ain’t. Not sober. Not getting anything positive out of my substances anymore. I stayed in the t’ain’t way after the fun had left the building. Kinda like being the last single guy at the bar at closing time. Desperation has a stink to it.

And you may say to yourself, "My God, what have I done?"

What we do in our human striving and unsettled anxiety about a world that seems to do the same thing over and over again just creates more of the same unsettled anxiety. We push and pull. We fight and argue. We hurt and kill. We self-medicate and self-destruct. We continue to create new things that have the power to own us—to destroy us—all in the name of scientific and technological advancement. Are we any happier for it? Enlightened humans have been calling for love and peace and kindness for millennia.

“Time isn't holding up, time isn't after us
Same as it ever was, same as it ever was”

All we have is now. What will we do with it?