Buck, Fuck, Suck, or Chuck-it lists
Got one?
Fuck the list and the bucket it rode in on.
A bucket is defined by Merriam-Websters as:
: a typically cylindrical vessel for catching, holding, or carrying liquids or solids
: something resembling a bucket: such as the scoop of an excavating machine
: one of the receptacles on the rim of a waterwheel
: one of the cups of an endless-belt conveyor
: one of the vanes of a turbine rotor
So where did the concept of bucket list come from? Nothing in the definitions above represent what the modern idea is—a collection of experiences that one simply must have in their life in order to feel complete—to feel accomplished.
Searches will indicate that it’s only a recent phenomenon brought about in the lexicon perhaps by the 2007 movie starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman entitled of all things “The Bucket List.” In the film the two men meet at a cancer treatment ward, plot their escape, and go on a variety of adventures they hope to check off before they “kick the bucket.” It’s a humorous exploration of mortality and friendship.
In fact, I don’t really have a bucket list, but I definitely have a fuck-it list. I kinda have a growing suck-it list too. And a shorter but solid chuck-it list to cap it off.
Is that so wrong?
I’d ask you to examine the truth of your own list compilation. Are you a lister? A list-maker? Is your refrigerator plastered with yellow sticky notes or a notepad sheet pasted up with a cute magnet with Namaste on it? Do you use the Notes app on your phone? Your calendar app? Tell us all about it in the comments below. Make a list out of it. Please. You owe it to yourself not to miss this—it simply must be on your bucket list of things to do before you die, right? Unlikely.
I’ve lived and traveled a fair bit in my 67 years. I’ve done some really great—and also some really reckless—shit that others might have on their lists. Jumped out of a plane. Bungeed from high bridges. Fallen deeply in love. Banged around 5 of 7 continents. Played golf in Scotland with my Dad. Drove a Porsche around a track at 180 MPH. Had a Ducati over 150. Saw all my favorite bands. Hung out with a few stars. Won a fistfight. Lost a fistfight. Tried nearly all of the various ways to inebriate and alter my mind. Yawn…
It’s not that I don’t have things that I’d like to do or places I’d like to see yet before I meet my maker. It’s not that. I do.
But I’m truly trying to live in the present, and be grateful for the special moments in each day rather than seek exhilarating experiences all the time. Besides, God laughs at plans.
At this point in my life there are a lot of things I’d definitely rather not do. Maybe even more than there are things I definitely want to do that I haven’t.
Call this my Fuck-It list:
This list certainly has a lot to do with my age. At some point you’ve been there and done that and now you’re done with that.
No more malls. Ever.
No more large concerts or large live sporting events.
No more flying coach class overseas.
No minivans. No Prius. No EV. No Subaru. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.
No more ties. Gave away the entire collection a long time ago. If you invite me to a black-tie event, I’ll be attending open collared.
No bucket hats. Only Bill Murray can pull it off.
No short-sleeve button downs. Pearl snap-buttons are the exception.
No lace up dress shoes. Only slip-ons for me now.
No plastic surgery. Ever.
No more booze.
Call this one my Suck-it list:
Gate keepers.
Politicians.
Busybodies.
Tough guys (not real ones—the ones that act like it.)
Shitty drivers.
Backstabbers.
Celebrity loudmouths.
Creeps.
Liars.
Kooks.
Any idiot waving a sign.
Cheaters.
People who pull out their phone rather than help.
Anyone who self-identifies as an influencer.
People who abuse animals or kids.
People who abandon animals or kids.
I think the hardest list for me to populate is the Chuck-it list, but it might be the most useful of all. The stuff I want to let go of—need to let go of—everyone would be happier if I just released my iron grip on—list.
Here goes nothing. Exactly. 🙄
Resentments. See any of those in the list above? To the average person resentments are more valuable than sex—we certainly engage them more often. Tough tough tough to chuck these bad boys.
Misplaced Anger. Focus that anger, feel it, process it, and chuck it.
Denial. This little mutha can be so insidious and cunning. We all love to pretend that we, our lives, our family, our country, our world are either better or worse than what they are in reality. Accepting our own reality and then dealing with it accordingly in a thoughtful and honest way is a challenge we’re all presented with. All the time. Chuck Denial. (BTW great radio DJ name)
Bad habits. Chuck ‘em. Drop ‘em like a hot potato. Easier said than done, especially when those bad habits are super useful for denying our own discomfort of the moment. Chips, smokes, cocktails, gummies, etc. They work because they work.
Immediate responses. Pause…then proceed…once I’ve calmed myself. Chuck that hot reaction to my own benefit and the benefit of others.
Fear. Chuck it. Seriously. Fuck it. I’m not talking about clear and present danger—few of us actually feel real fear often in our lives. Mostly our fear is made up of anxiety about things that will never happen. Free-floating fear about things that happen to others but not to us. See cable news and social media.
In my own experience, this list—and essay—all begins and ends with gratitude. Be grateful for what I have and can currently do. Discard the stuff that doesn’t fit that. Deal with the stuff that’s standing in my way. Do something.
There…that’s my bucket list: do something.
So Bucket, Fuck-it, Suck-it, or Chuck it. What more ya got to do? Make your list.
Love this, and saving it as a guide for my own fuck-it list. I’m 69, so It will be very similar to yours. My #1 would apply to your un-subs with the vapors over the most versatile word in our language. “Fuck ‘em if they can’t take a joke”!
The chuck-it list is brilliant, I’ve always kept a list in my head of things I should let go of, but never had a title. Saw a t-shirt in a meeting once that hit me between the legs, “Anything I ever let go of had claw marks all over it”. If I’m honest, those old resentments are like treasured toys, fun to drag out and play with now and then. Dangerous ground for me. Today I will write them down. Then I’ll deal with them one at a time. Serenity is the reward.
Personally I don’t like the idea of a bucket list. Like you, I’ve had a life of wide and varied experiences. Things I never dreamed of doing just happened, almost always as a result of being involved in something that for me was just the next right thing. Most of the best events in my life were unplanned. I trust serendipity, and that’s the opposite of a list.
Thanks Dee, for making me think. Bless you and yours.
Brilliant!
The thing about this title and the first line is that they will stick in my mind forever (well done Dee!) which makes them very useful.
What do you mean you're never going to drive a Subaru! You need to come to BC where Suby's and Tacomas are in every second driveway and we love it like that🤣🤣🤣 Seriously, I was howling at that list of vehicles, having owned almost all of them! Haha.
So about these lists...I love the idea of taking the time to think this through, especially the chuck it list. This essay came at a time when I am circling the wagons and needing to recalibrate and what a better way to do that then with a lesson from my good buddy Dee. Thank you.