Love this, and saving it as a guide for my own fuck-it list. I’m 69, so It will be very similar to yours. My #1 would apply to your un-subs with the vapors over the most versatile word in our language. “Fuck ‘em if they can’t take a joke”!
The chuck-it list is brilliant, I’ve always kept a list in my head of things I should let go of, but never had a title. Saw a t-shirt in a meeting once that hit me between the legs, “Anything I ever let go of had claw marks all over it”. If I’m honest, those old resentments are like treasured toys, fun to drag out and play with now and then. Dangerous ground for me. Today I will write them down. Then I’ll deal with them one at a time. Serenity is the reward.
Personally I don’t like the idea of a bucket list. Like you, I’ve had a life of wide and varied experiences. Things I never dreamed of doing just happened, almost always as a result of being involved in something that for me was just the next right thing. Most of the best events in my life were unplanned. I trust serendipity, and that’s the opposite of a list.
Thanks Dee, for making me think. Bless you and yours.
The thing about this title and the first line is that they will stick in my mind forever (well done Dee!) which makes them very useful.
What do you mean you're never going to drive a Subaru! You need to come to BC where Suby's and Tacomas are in every second driveway and we love it like that🤣🤣🤣 Seriously, I was howling at that list of vehicles, having owned almost all of them! Haha.
So about these lists...I love the idea of taking the time to think this through, especially the chuck it list. This essay came at a time when I am circling the wagons and needing to recalibrate and what a better way to do that then with a lesson from my good buddy Dee. Thank you.
Lots of my other friends drive those same vehicles too Donna. ☺️
As I’m sure you’re aware, part of my writing today was very tongue-in-cheek but also contained a lesson and I’m so grateful you were able to realize that.
Dee I love this one so much; sorry to be late to the party! ha ha about the Namaste magnet on the fridge (don’t have one, nor the stickies); damn right about NOT flying coach anymore on overseas flights; interesting about short-sleeve button down shirts (I don’t think Sam wears his short-sleeve “Hawaiian” dress up shirts anymore… will have to quiz him on this); and so much more. This whole damn article is getting pinned to our fridge. 🤓❤️
There are exclusions to the sleeve button down ban: Tommy Bahama and Hawaiian shirts for sure. I’ve got a few but let’s not let the facts get in the way of a good solid opinion rant 😂
Agree with most of your list. I’ll pull my phone out for some situations. Like when the police are questioning an angry suspect, someone who is crazy. Or someone who is suspicious. Not very often.
This has some profound stuff. I have zero desire for a Bucket List...as this place is already temporary and I will have so much wonderful work to do once I get Home to Heaven, I will not look back! Working with God, working with Lord Jesus, laughing with Holy Spirit...but I get the meaning of this! Good lessons here! Keep on, W.E.W.
Fuck-it’s: no getting into political debates online (or even offline, these days); no debating my personal health choices (online or off); no live videos or podcast interviews (I’ve done it; it’s fine; the tremendous stress is not worth it), no teaching or dean’ing college (again, I’ve done it; it’s fine; the tremendous stress is not worth it), no booze.
Suck-it’s: dishonesty; hostility; deliberately causing harm; obsession with self-identity; people who dehumanize others because they have different opinions, beliefs, circumstances, histories, etc.; coercion and pressure related to personal health choices; dismissal of non-allopathic medicines as pseudoscience; people who "know" all the answers; people who are stingy with hearts on Substack (sure, it’s a little thing... but I think it speaks to something bigger); people who (moralistically) assert that anyone writing about sobriety and recovery should not charge for their work.
Chuck-it’s: reacting before pausing, obsessive-compulsive patterning, catastrophizing, impatience, rushing.
I just love that you played here with me. Thank you Dana. Your list is your own and I see some shared F’s and S’s and C’s for sure. It was fun to write and ponder for a bit. I’m glad you had fun with it. 🙏
1. Groceries yes. needed. (memory isn’t what it used to be)
2. Packing lists: yes. (what I need to take for surgical trips must haves only.. heating pad, instant ice cold packets, underwear, comb and toothbrush come to mind) hah! A list within a list of lists!
3. Suck it list? Nah.. I don’t want to give any of those things even one ounce of my energy
4. Bucket list? Nah.. at least haven’t begun one yet at 72, I’m still too young.
5. Fuck it lists? Nah,, see number 3.
6. Christmas card lists? Nope. If you don’t pop into my mind often enough to remember you during the holidays, we’ve drifted too far apart.. unless, of course, I decided not to mail any this year.. in which case, no list and no cards.
7. Gift ideas- I sometimes have kept these, tho not any longer. All the people I used to exchange birthday and holiday gifts with have agreed with me that we don’t want any more stuff, so no to this list too.
8. Symptoms list: yeah.. tho I dislike having to do this, it’s important to update my neurosurgeon and anesthesiologist every couple weeks or so with health progress or decline.
9. Favorite quotes list? It’s not a list, but an entire blank book I’ve been filling with my favorite inspirational quotes since I was about 14. Interestingly enough, all those quotes have continued to uplift me.
And…. 10. Let’s make this a nice round number in list topic possibilities that I might have or not…: garden flowers / supplies to buy someday.. nope. Not a separate list! Ha-hah! It’s part of my grocery list.
I would say our fuck it and suck it lists would be similar. I’m still ok with s/s button downs once in a while. It’s henleys (and not Don 🙄) 80% of the time now. Can’t agree more about the cars, especially EVs. I don’t want anything to do with or near an airport lest actually flying coach !
You’ve done a few more wild things than I have (we’re only 2+ years apart), but I’ve been more vanilla through life, some might say dull. No complaints.
I do miss some of it, but a lot of it has already been chucked, like large gatherings, concerts and pro sports (tv or in person) as examples.
Love this, and saving it as a guide for my own fuck-it list. I’m 69, so It will be very similar to yours. My #1 would apply to your un-subs with the vapors over the most versatile word in our language. “Fuck ‘em if they can’t take a joke”!
The chuck-it list is brilliant, I’ve always kept a list in my head of things I should let go of, but never had a title. Saw a t-shirt in a meeting once that hit me between the legs, “Anything I ever let go of had claw marks all over it”. If I’m honest, those old resentments are like treasured toys, fun to drag out and play with now and then. Dangerous ground for me. Today I will write them down. Then I’ll deal with them one at a time. Serenity is the reward.
Personally I don’t like the idea of a bucket list. Like you, I’ve had a life of wide and varied experiences. Things I never dreamed of doing just happened, almost always as a result of being involved in something that for me was just the next right thing. Most of the best events in my life were unplanned. I trust serendipity, and that’s the opposite of a list.
Thanks Dee, for making me think. Bless you and yours.
Like minds and all that rot ☺️
I’ve got claw marks all over me from the ones that wouldn’t let go. Love that one.
Thanks for reading and blessings your way as well 🙏
I'm with you, I'm not a big fan of bucket lists either.
Brilliant!
The thing about this title and the first line is that they will stick in my mind forever (well done Dee!) which makes them very useful.
What do you mean you're never going to drive a Subaru! You need to come to BC where Suby's and Tacomas are in every second driveway and we love it like that🤣🤣🤣 Seriously, I was howling at that list of vehicles, having owned almost all of them! Haha.
So about these lists...I love the idea of taking the time to think this through, especially the chuck it list. This essay came at a time when I am circling the wagons and needing to recalibrate and what a better way to do that then with a lesson from my good buddy Dee. Thank you.
Lots of my other friends drive those same vehicles too Donna. ☺️
As I’m sure you’re aware, part of my writing today was very tongue-in-cheek but also contained a lesson and I’m so grateful you were able to realize that.
Love ya.
Dee I love this one so much; sorry to be late to the party! ha ha about the Namaste magnet on the fridge (don’t have one, nor the stickies); damn right about NOT flying coach anymore on overseas flights; interesting about short-sleeve button down shirts (I don’t think Sam wears his short-sleeve “Hawaiian” dress up shirts anymore… will have to quiz him on this); and so much more. This whole damn article is getting pinned to our fridge. 🤓❤️
Ha! Thank you Debbie ☺️
There are exclusions to the sleeve button down ban: Tommy Bahama and Hawaiian shirts for sure. I’ve got a few but let’s not let the facts get in the way of a good solid opinion rant 😂
Thanks for reading 🙏
This is a perfect idea for lists - and I am ALL on-board with creating a 'chuck it' list! Great concepts, brother!
Also: The rhyming with 'bucket'? Peak brilliance... and poetic, too! ;-)
🫡😂
Agree with most of your list. I’ll pull my phone out for some situations. Like when the police are questioning an angry suspect, someone who is crazy. Or someone who is suspicious. Not very often.
Thanks again, I read your piece to my wife, she asked me if I wrote it.👍
👊👍
This has some profound stuff. I have zero desire for a Bucket List...as this place is already temporary and I will have so much wonderful work to do once I get Home to Heaven, I will not look back! Working with God, working with Lord Jesus, laughing with Holy Spirit...but I get the meaning of this! Good lessons here! Keep on, W.E.W.
🙏
This was fun, Dee! Some of mine...
Fuck-it’s: no getting into political debates online (or even offline, these days); no debating my personal health choices (online or off); no live videos or podcast interviews (I’ve done it; it’s fine; the tremendous stress is not worth it), no teaching or dean’ing college (again, I’ve done it; it’s fine; the tremendous stress is not worth it), no booze.
Suck-it’s: dishonesty; hostility; deliberately causing harm; obsession with self-identity; people who dehumanize others because they have different opinions, beliefs, circumstances, histories, etc.; coercion and pressure related to personal health choices; dismissal of non-allopathic medicines as pseudoscience; people who "know" all the answers; people who are stingy with hearts on Substack (sure, it’s a little thing... but I think it speaks to something bigger); people who (moralistically) assert that anyone writing about sobriety and recovery should not charge for their work.
Chuck-it’s: reacting before pausing, obsessive-compulsive patterning, catastrophizing, impatience, rushing.
I just love that you played here with me. Thank you Dana. Your list is your own and I see some shared F’s and S’s and C’s for sure. It was fun to write and ponder for a bit. I’m glad you had fun with it. 🙏
Most excellent Dee.
My lists?
1. Groceries yes. needed. (memory isn’t what it used to be)
2. Packing lists: yes. (what I need to take for surgical trips must haves only.. heating pad, instant ice cold packets, underwear, comb and toothbrush come to mind) hah! A list within a list of lists!
3. Suck it list? Nah.. I don’t want to give any of those things even one ounce of my energy
4. Bucket list? Nah.. at least haven’t begun one yet at 72, I’m still too young.
5. Fuck it lists? Nah,, see number 3.
6. Christmas card lists? Nope. If you don’t pop into my mind often enough to remember you during the holidays, we’ve drifted too far apart.. unless, of course, I decided not to mail any this year.. in which case, no list and no cards.
7. Gift ideas- I sometimes have kept these, tho not any longer. All the people I used to exchange birthday and holiday gifts with have agreed with me that we don’t want any more stuff, so no to this list too.
8. Symptoms list: yeah.. tho I dislike having to do this, it’s important to update my neurosurgeon and anesthesiologist every couple weeks or so with health progress or decline.
9. Favorite quotes list? It’s not a list, but an entire blank book I’ve been filling with my favorite inspirational quotes since I was about 14. Interestingly enough, all those quotes have continued to uplift me.
And…. 10. Let’s make this a nice round number in list topic possibilities that I might have or not…: garden flowers / supplies to buy someday.. nope. Not a separate list! Ha-hah! It’s part of my grocery list.
Tah Dah!
Thanks T for being the only reader to follow directions 😂
I love your lists and of course your attitude towards the F and S lists. I should follow your lead then maybe my Chuck-it list would be smaller 🙏
I got tired of carrying the load. 💞
I would say our fuck it and suck it lists would be similar. I’m still ok with s/s button downs once in a while. It’s henleys (and not Don 🙄) 80% of the time now. Can’t agree more about the cars, especially EVs. I don’t want anything to do with or near an airport lest actually flying coach !
You’ve done a few more wild things than I have (we’re only 2+ years apart), but I’ve been more vanilla through life, some might say dull. No complaints.
I do miss some of it, but a lot of it has already been chucked, like large gatherings, concerts and pro sports (tv or in person) as examples.
This was good - this was fun !
☺️👍 thanks for reading Ken!