Can I get it right now?

Can I have this without doing that? NO.

Hello friends and readers. Spring is in the air. Well—except for my friends in the Rockies where the poofterschnay is dumping from the sky. Powder days in March are legendary. Those lucky hounds who find themselves on the western side of the pass and are already up at the ski mountains reap the benefits of less traffic = more mountain to themselves—cuz the skiers trying to drive up from Denver can’t get there. The news that I-70 is closed elicits a whoop! that echoes through the canyons.

The idea for today’s essay rose up from our state of instant gratification. We’re living in a culture that feeds off of it. Need to find information now? Google. Need to find out how to now? YouTube. Need to get skinny—fit? Take a pill.

Watch it. Buy it. Take it. Shazaam you’re an expert.

So—in that spirit—I need some validation and I need it right now. Read and subscribe! It’s all that I want—but I need it right now.

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The talented singer Adele had a catchy 2021 hit Can I Get it Right Now?

So can I get it right now? Mmm
Can I get it right now? (Can I get it here?)
Can I get it right now?
Can I get it right now?
Let me, let me just come and get it
In the song she’s singing about satisfying her immediate urges for her partner’s love. I think she’s probably talking about sex rather than love—but that wouldn’t sell well with some of her fans—parents—so she leaves it a little obtuse.

Sex is only one of the many needs we all seem to wish to—or expect to—be able to service now. We must get an answer now. We must get relief now. I neeeeeed it! Can I get it right now? Well—can I?

The answer is Yes. For our most superficial and transient needs the answer is definitely yes. But—and this is a big but—for the meaningful things in life the answer is No.

We form opinions and belief systems based upon our current operating system. If that underlying OS is flawed somehow—and needs to change—then don’t our opinions and belief systems also need to change? I’ve written on this previously here: Does your BS line up with your OS? - by Dee Rambeau (substack.com)

Short term vs. Long term. Needs vs. wants.

I need to get relief. I want to be happy. Two vastly different things.

I need to know some piece of information. I want to be an expert at something. Two vastly different things.

I need validation. I want to be respected. Again—miles apart.

One requires a short-term decision. The other requires work—and time.

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We are a society that is chock full of experts. Many are self-proclaimed—and they’re always the loudest. Some experts actually have the lived experience to speak, write, or teach on the subject at hand. This is true in every category of business and culture.

Even right here on Substack—there are hundreds of posts about How I went from zero to a trillion subscribers! Subscribe now to find out how! Are there legitimate subject matter experts on the matter of growing your Substack? Yes to be sure. A few that I follow are

Tim Denning

Russell Nohelty

and

Sarah Fay Writers at Work

There are certainly more—who have lived the experience of creating a powerful and sustainable audience on Substack. There are many others who just want to share their success with you—and get a little validation from you on Notes in return. Yay you! Yay me! We are we! Follow me! I’m on Substack to read—and hopefully write—quality content that makes you think and laugh and cry. It reads better and has more credibility if have a personal stake—some skin in the game.

I’ve referenced Malcolm Gladwell several times in previous posts. I think his analysis of the topics he writes about is fascinating. He obviously does his research. He has written about the 10,000-hour rule of Mastery. I’m not sure I agree with the number—or how he arrived at that number—but what I do agree with is that mastery takes work. And time. There are several elements to achieving mastery.

Desire. Willingness.

Opportunity.

Focus.

Practice and Training.

Trial and Error—Failure.

A willingness to learn—both from other’s examples—and from reading and studying.

Without any of these elements—and a healthy dose of humility—you cannot achieve mastery or subject matter expertise.

Note the absence of intelligence, job title, birthright, race, gender, or equity. You might think that you know what you’re talking about on any given subject on any given day—but if you can’t demonstrate that you’ve actually been through what you’re opining about—your credibility suffers in my opinion.

Certainly there are exceptions to the above. Among us there exist true geniuses, savants, and members of the lucky sperm club. But they are few—and it is undecided if those fortunate attributes are determinate factors—or even fortunate—in leading one to mastery or not.

The beginner chases the right answers.

The master chases the right questions.

James Clear

If you’re advising entrepreneurs but you haven’t ever started a company from scratch—I will take your counsel with a grain of salt.

If you’ve not been in the nasty game of politics as an actual participant—fighting for votes—selling difficult legislation to those across the aisle—and building influence in this corrupted system that we have—you’re merely a pundit—or a fellow voter. I can take or leave your opinion at the door.

If you’re commenting on the value of a professional player to a team—but you’ve not actually run away from 300-pound linebackers who can run a 4.5 forty—you’re an armchair QB. You’re a fan.

Finally, if you’re telling us how to get well from a mental illness—but you’ve never been depressed or anxious yourself—stop. You’re giving advice that is based on training—but that has no basis in actual experience.

If you have an opinion on what we should do about addicts and addiction—but have never been through the soul-destroying experience of getting clean and sober—you might be empathetic and a counselor with decent training—but you offer nothing from your own lived experience.

And on and on.

Are there quality teachers and coaches who can help guide others to mastery even though they’ve never achieved it themselves? Yes—occasionally. Perhaps their teaching prowess is their actual mastery?

Throughout much of my younger years I was an accomplished athlete at a very high level in several different sports. I can imagine what it’s like to drain a 3-pointer at the buzzer to win the NCAA National Championships—but I’ve never done it. My coaching would be focused on fundamentals of good basketball—filled in with intuition from my other competitive sports. But I cannot speak from experience to the mind-numbing pressure of performing in that specific moment.

At several points during my 40 years in business I’ve started a venture or a company. Several failures. One resonant success. I have lived experience on the subject—making an idea into a product—finding money—managing employees and clients—getting to the finish line. I don’t talk about it or write about it much—but I can certainly speak to it with some credibility if anyone asks me what I think.

I’ve made my point. You may agree or disagree—but hear me out.

What I’m getting at in this essay is that there are copious examples of loud and proud experts who give advice on personal growth and wellness that simply don’t truly know if what they speak. If it’s up to us to change—and no one else can make us change—then how is what they’re telling us valuable? I can ask ChatGPT and get advice that is equally qualified.

What kind of person do you want to be?

How do you want to be thought of and remembered by those who know you and love you?

Are you currently being that person?

If you’re not—and here’s the key statement—are you willing to put in the work needed to make the change?

If not—then don’t bother reading about it or wishing for it cuz it ain’t coming. And please stop talking about it.

Let’s visit the elements required for meaningful change in your life.

Desire. Willingness.

Opportunity.

Focus.

Practice and Training.

Trial and Error—Failure.

A willingness to learn—both from other’s examples—and from reading and studying.

Do you see a pattern here?

These elements line up exactly with what it takes to develop mastery of a subject—to become an expert—that can share with others from their own lived experience.

Without any of these elements—and a healthy dose of humility—you cannot achieve mastery or subject matter expertise.

And I’ll add—you cannot make meaningful personal change in your life.

Unfortunately, we live in a society that wants easy fixes to complex problems.

They do not exist.

Why do we constantly try to put a band aid on a compound fracture?

Why do we give audience to a bunch of loudmouths yelling and virtue signaling at each other from opposite sides? How is that a solution to complex and nuanced problems?

Why should we listen to—follow—allow ourselves to be influenced by—and even elect—people whose own lives are an unhealthy mess of trauma, rage, disappointment, and fear?

Why do we sit around and worry and fret about the world—and bitch and moan to others—trying to convince them how right we are and how wrong they are? All the while we’re absolutely unwilling to make difficult change in our own lives.

Because our society is lazy and complacent. And unwell. And human.

Be the change that you want to see in the world. Change yourself. It’s possible but it takes work. Then—and only then—can you be of some service to others.

And with that—my rant is concluded. You read this—so I guess you need something from me? ☺️