I love this. The banality of everyday life, stress, coping mechanisms, and striving to find a little bit of peace. Then WHA someone dies. Definitely gives perspective. Thank you Dee.
Very sorry to read about your friend, Dee. Thank you for writing and sharing. I absolutely agree with pet therapy and finding a quiet space to rest within. Mine is often drawing as time flies by and my entire focus is absorbed.
Oh how I relate to this - constant motion! In recovery at least I’ve gotten better at recognizing it but it sure is a default for me. Thank you for the reminder.
I like to think there are different kinds of “fuck its!” The one that gets me to jump into a new opportunity, or the one that allows me to take on something that seems difficult. “Fuck it! Let’s jump!”Those are the fuck its I can get behind.
As always, thank you for being real and sharing your journey.
Dee, I am sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. I'm sending love and light your way as you remember them.❤
I might be the opposite of most as sometimes I am too good at sitting in solitude and need to work on the people part (funny since my job is with people). However, I certainly know that one can sit in solitude and contemplate AND be running from whatever is chasing you. Been there.
Turning to softly confront that thing with compassion and inquiry is key.
I love how you share there are many ways for us to find it, in nature, on your motorbike, with your dog. That's a great reminder, it's all about presence.
Thank you Donna. Once again your thoughtful comment brings a new wrinkle to the topic I write about. It’s truly amazing how we all process it differently. Thank you for sharing your experience.
For me it's a bit different. Sitting alone quietly and letting unbidden thoughts come into my head poses a risk for me of thoughts of existential dread.
I'd rather be thinking actively or reading actively. While I was reading your post and then spending time thinking about a comment, I was happily occupied. So, thank you!
Thanks Dee I think this is akin to ‘Don’t worry or waste time on things that are out of your control’. It sounds a lot easier than it actually is and I struggle with it often. In my case I work at a large company on very large, complex IT implementations that require lots of talent, deep creative thinkers, and great communication and project management skills. What I find is lots of inexperienced people, persons in a Technology organization that really aren’t that technical, and some newly titled Project Managers that dont know a thing about Gantt charts, leveling resources, critical paths, finish to start dependencies, and most tmportantly accurate estimation of tasks. Many of these team members will not impact me directly, but several will, and it becomes frustrating and hard to let go of it. I look for places to diplomatically slip in advice but it either is not listened to or makes me look negative. I’m getting better at letting it go by but it is painful and difficult at times. Your essay helped me reframe that a little so I am getting better. There are points in time that you have to let people fail on their own in order to learn from it. Stay tuned, I may write a book about some of this and then maybe folks will listen.
I’m glad it resonated with you pal. Thanks for reading and sharing your experience. Letting go of trying to control others is a big one, especially when their behavior and lack of action reflects directly on you.
It's funny, but what you say here resonates squarely with my experience of the traditional Quaker meeting. I'll be going to one later today, and if it's not raining I expect we'll be sitting in a circle outdoors staring at the grass or the sky or closing our eyes, and just wrestling the challenge you describe of channeling our swirling thoughts productively. I don't know that I think of myself as a meditator. And I don't really believe in the supernatural. But there's something profound about that ceremony -- an hour of shared silence. Some people bring books to read. I bring a little notebook that I write in if I have a thought worth preserving. It's just about the only church-type gathering I can tolerate, because there aren't ministers, there's not really much of a doctrine, and so I can define that time any way that I like. Plus, it's done in community. I've really come to look forward to that ritual every week.
I love hearing that Josh. Shared silence with no other agenda? That’s sounds powerful. I’m not familiar with that tradition but I think I’d enjoy it. Thank you for sharing that. 🙏
I love this. The banality of everyday life, stress, coping mechanisms, and striving to find a little bit of peace. Then WHA someone dies. Definitely gives perspective. Thank you Dee.
🙏🙏
Dogs are the best therapy. <3
Very sorry to read about your friend, Dee. Thank you for writing and sharing. I absolutely agree with pet therapy and finding a quiet space to rest within. Mine is often drawing as time flies by and my entire focus is absorbed.
So good to have that thing you love to do that takes all of you 🙏 thank you Mya!
Oh how I relate to this - constant motion! In recovery at least I’ve gotten better at recognizing it but it sure is a default for me. Thank you for the reminder.
Another good one Dee.
I like to think there are different kinds of “fuck its!” The one that gets me to jump into a new opportunity, or the one that allows me to take on something that seems difficult. “Fuck it! Let’s jump!”Those are the fuck its I can get behind.
As always, thank you for being real and sharing your journey.
I love this perspective Bill!
Thanks Donna!
Quaker meetings are good for this!
Thank you Dee! I'm struggling with getting sober, but your words resonate with me...they give me hope! Keep writing...I'll keep reading! xoxo
Keep at KK. One day at a time. We love you. Thanks for reading 🙏
Dee, I am sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. I'm sending love and light your way as you remember them.❤
I might be the opposite of most as sometimes I am too good at sitting in solitude and need to work on the people part (funny since my job is with people). However, I certainly know that one can sit in solitude and contemplate AND be running from whatever is chasing you. Been there.
Turning to softly confront that thing with compassion and inquiry is key.
I love how you share there are many ways for us to find it, in nature, on your motorbike, with your dog. That's a great reminder, it's all about presence.
Thank you Donna. Once again your thoughtful comment brings a new wrinkle to the topic I write about. It’s truly amazing how we all process it differently. Thank you for sharing your experience.
I love your wisdom, Dee. I so enjoy each of your writings! xoxo
Thank you Martha. Hard-won wisdom?!? 🙄 Love that you’re reading. Miss you.
Hi Dee,
For me it's a bit different. Sitting alone quietly and letting unbidden thoughts come into my head poses a risk for me of thoughts of existential dread.
I'd rather be thinking actively or reading actively. While I was reading your post and then spending time thinking about a comment, I was happily occupied. So, thank you!
Thanks Dee I think this is akin to ‘Don’t worry or waste time on things that are out of your control’. It sounds a lot easier than it actually is and I struggle with it often. In my case I work at a large company on very large, complex IT implementations that require lots of talent, deep creative thinkers, and great communication and project management skills. What I find is lots of inexperienced people, persons in a Technology organization that really aren’t that technical, and some newly titled Project Managers that dont know a thing about Gantt charts, leveling resources, critical paths, finish to start dependencies, and most tmportantly accurate estimation of tasks. Many of these team members will not impact me directly, but several will, and it becomes frustrating and hard to let go of it. I look for places to diplomatically slip in advice but it either is not listened to or makes me look negative. I’m getting better at letting it go by but it is painful and difficult at times. Your essay helped me reframe that a little so I am getting better. There are points in time that you have to let people fail on their own in order to learn from it. Stay tuned, I may write a book about some of this and then maybe folks will listen.
I’m glad it resonated with you pal. Thanks for reading and sharing your experience. Letting go of trying to control others is a big one, especially when their behavior and lack of action reflects directly on you.
Oh yes, I know the fuck-its very well. But, I won't fall for that again!
Fuck that 💪🏻
It's funny, but what you say here resonates squarely with my experience of the traditional Quaker meeting. I'll be going to one later today, and if it's not raining I expect we'll be sitting in a circle outdoors staring at the grass or the sky or closing our eyes, and just wrestling the challenge you describe of channeling our swirling thoughts productively. I don't know that I think of myself as a meditator. And I don't really believe in the supernatural. But there's something profound about that ceremony -- an hour of shared silence. Some people bring books to read. I bring a little notebook that I write in if I have a thought worth preserving. It's just about the only church-type gathering I can tolerate, because there aren't ministers, there's not really much of a doctrine, and so I can define that time any way that I like. Plus, it's done in community. I've really come to look forward to that ritual every week.
I love hearing that Josh. Shared silence with no other agenda? That’s sounds powerful. I’m not familiar with that tradition but I think I’d enjoy it. Thank you for sharing that. 🙏