I’m an observer of life and human behavior, including my own. It appears to me that we’ve lost our collective minds. I try on a daily basis not to be too cynical about the future, but I struggle to see a positive path forward for our country. There is too little personal responsibility and a complete lack of institutional accountability. Too many people and too many groups are claiming victimhood. What can one person do? How can we possibly stay healthy and peaceful in this environment? In this essay there are truly more questions than answers.
All of this takes me directly to the First Step of AA: “we admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.” Take out the specific reference to alcohol and the first step fits our world perfectly. If we admit that we’re powerless over many of the fucked-up things in our world and that things have gotten a bit out of hand, is that when the real work of healing can begin?
With that question hanging, here we go. Read until the end for my ideas on a spiritual solution.
FUBAR: (fucked up beyond all recognition). The acronym originated in the US Military during WWII, along with other fun ones such as SNAFU (situation normal, all fucked up), BOHICA (bend over here it comes again), and CHIPS (causing havoc in people’s streets). All would be appropriate to use in describing the current cultural state of America.
First let’s outline some of the things that have happened in the recent decade.
Smart phones and social media
You can attribute much of our FUBAR to the collision of these two wonderful technologies. Cell phones have been around since the ‘80s. But it was really when the smartphone came on the scene that things took a decidedly wrong turn. Unlimited data, larger screens, an explosion of social media platforms, games and apps, and high-speed internet have all collided to make us slaves to the constant drivel and spew put forth by strangers across the World who we would have otherwise never, ever had the pleasure of witnessing or interacting with before. I know and I hear you saying, “but it allows me to work anywhere, be connected anywhere, and—and—and.” All true. But at what cost? Sadly, it appears, at the cost of our own mental health. Human beings have always engaged in stupid or dangerous behavior. Today—lucky us—we get to see it all delivered directly to our brains 24/7. And now 76% of Americans aged 18-24 are on TikTok daily. What could possibly go wrong?
There’s just so many things that fit into this FUBAR discussion. Even a comprehensive list would leave some things out. But here’s a few for your consideration. Regardless of which side of each issue that your opinion falls on, this list represents some clear examples of topics—the mad, sad, hysterical, and hyperbolic discussion of which—indicate that we’ve lost our collective minds.
How many times have you heard a talking head utter the phrase “the system is broken.” Yeah, which system exactly are you referring to? And if they’re all broken, what is our remedy?
#metoo
This one is tricky only now, with the new context of gender discussions. A comeuppance was necessary and finally happened. So many decades of striding forward for women’s rights and equality across all things, only to be sidelined and diminished by the questions around “what is a woman?”
Covid
From early 2020 until the current day, SARS CoV-2 is still traumatizing the population. The deadly outcomes of the virus itself have been overshadowed and exceeded by the public health responses, the lying, the shaming, the politicization, and the misinformation around it.
George Floyd, BLM, and “Defund the Police”
Whew. To combine these hyperbolic topics is to invite disaster, but they really are all linked. One horrible incident crystallized the pent-up pandemic rage and the collective social media outrage of a nation in such a way that it set us up for manipulation by politicians, the media, and corrupt non-profits. What a deadly and illogical over-reaction. 25 people died, 2,000 police officers were injured, and over $2 Billion in property damage was caused. Black Lives Matter as an organization bilked hundreds of millions of dollars out of the pockets of compassionate Americans. Corporations joined the action not to be outdone by one another in their public displays of virtue signaling. Authors and speakers changed their names and made millions peddling anti-racism solutions to school boards and companies. Don’t we now see in our crime-riddled big cities that all lives truly matter, and that this entire sad episode has created more risk?
Global warming and climate change
The existential threat of our time. Or is it? The climate clearly changes over time. But conflicting research, data, and experts have been systematically manipulated by both sides for the narrative at hand. Again, the division around this issue sets us up for irresponsible decision making, corrupt opportunists, and questionable results. Is our energy infrastructure more or less solid as a result of efforts to promote clean energy and throttle fossil fuels? Are our electrical grids more or less dependable as a result of millions of new electric cars being added to overall demand on the grid?
Gender
Are there really dozens of genders? Or has our compassion for oppressed groups gotten way out of control? Do your thing! Express yourself! Let your flag fly! Truly—but is it really necessary to punish people for being confused when they see you as a woman that needs to be identified as He and Him? Does it make any sense at all to let biological males compete against women in sports? Has the cause of LGBTQ (add letter or symbol here) moved anyone forward, or actually caused more division and more harm? See #metoo above.
Weaponization and politicization of law enforcement
The imbalance of enforcement has always tipped in favor of the powerful and the elite. But recently it seems to have also tipped in favor of one political party over another. Will the anti-Israel protestors will face proper accountability for their violent actions? Was the prosecution of January 6th participants even-handed? Did it equal what could or should have happened to Black Lives Matter protestors? Should Donald Trump be in prison, or is he just a narcissistic shit? Don’t answer that one.
Can state, and federal law enforcement leadership act equally and objectively when District Attorneys and Prosecutors are elected politicians? What’s with letting men into a women’s prison because they decide to identify as a She? Does anyone really benefit from bail reform other than the criminals who are let back out on the street to carry on their nefarious, illegal acts? Shouldn’t the law, and the enforcement of it be free of political ideology?
Immigration
What a mess. Millions and millions of people waited years to go through the legal process of becoming a US Citizen. We are nation of immigrants. The current situation is incredibly disrespectful to those people, and acutely dangerous to the sovereignty of our nation. What happened? When did politicians lose their ability to control and manage the US borders? Does it matter if we call these people refugees seeking political asylum? They’re coming into this country illegally. Why aren’t we enforcing the laws? Or changing them? Does it make sense to let millions of people into our country, give them phones, transport them into our communities, and cut them loose? Anyone concerned about the number of people on the terror watch list coming into the country? What could possibly go wrong?
Crime
See “defund the police” and “immigration” and “politicization of law enforcement” above. We all see it and we all feel it. Most certainly our streets and our neighborhoods are less safe than they were even a few years ago. Why? Isn’t it the primary—the only—responsibility of our oversized government bureaucracy to protect its citizens? One related question I have is: In which situation would you feel less safe? If a federal agency like the FBI or the IRS came knocking on your door? Or if it was instead a run-of-the-mill ne’er do well criminal? How many first-time gun owners are there now in the US as a result of the last 5 years?
Social Media
There is so much evidence of harm. So much evidence of the negative impact on people of all ages. Entire generations are unable to interact socially with others due to entire days and weeks and lives spent looking at these platforms. Words and assaults on other people that would never happen face to face are a common occurrence online. Experts like Jonathan Haidt, Johann Hari, and others have written extensively about the impact on our mental health. But what to do without impacting the right of free speech and what has become the ubiquitous way of communicating with one another?
Obesity
According to the CDC (another American institution that is suffering from a trust issue), over 70% of Americans are overweight and 42% considered obese. Health care costs attributed to issues caused by obesity are in excess of $200 Billion annually. What’s our response? To celebrate it. To take pharmaceuticals to lose weight. To cut Physical Education from school’s curriculum. To shorten the average American’s life span. We are eating ourselves to death in America.
Politics
Whoa. Just take a look at, and a listen to, the people who supposedly represent us. Consistent polling shows that politicians have the lowest favorability rating of any profession—lower than dentists—lower than strippers. Yet, we continue to elect fools to lead us with the same tired old tripe about “well she’s at least better than that other guy.” Maybe. But once they’ve proven to be inept, we continue to re-elect them in order to hang on to our particular party’s power. Because “at least we’re better than those other people.” Where does this all go? It can’t get any worse, can it? Oh yes it can—in just about a year. Has anyone ever gotten very far discussing term limits and pay-for-performance rather than popularity? Have we the people ever gotten very far in demanding the end of corporate or dark money donations? Nope. We deserve what we get.
The media
Used to be trusted. Is no longer. Yet we continue to be fed bucket loads of agenda-driven shit that is cloaked as “breaking news” from both sides. Since Ted Turner and Reese Schonfeld created CNN back in 1980, we’ve seen a steady growth of 24/7 cable news content fed to us. It has exploded in size and breadth due to the internet. The independent journalism that happens is few and far between. Bari Weiss and her efforts with Free Press (formerly Comm9’ Sense) right here on Substack are one shining example. Can we trust what we read and hear anymore? How do we identify the truth? Or is the truth now fungible?
Universities
College campuses have always been a hotbed of youthful rebellion against the norms of society. A place where a free exchange of ideas can be discussed and shared. The environment has always promoted radicalism. Many of the ideas and thoughts we had about our young lives at that time—much of our thinking—turn out to be false or different than we imagined. Some of it stays with us. Much of growing up and maturing is contained in the process of determining what to hold onto, and what to let go of in our pursuit of a life of fulfillment and happiness. Today’s university environment has changed in the following meaningful ways: the cost and the indoctrination by the faculty. There are obviously many other ways that the environment has changed, but these two primary changes seem to manifest most publicly and visibly. What are young people graduating high school to do with this information? What different choices might parents make? Does our society benefit from the societal strata created by those that have a college degree and those that don’t? Can endowments continue at the pace they have been with the knowledge of the outcomes that are created today? Can sports and athletics continue to dominate so much of the attention and demand such a large slice of the revenue/cost pie?
Elitism
Elitism is different than power. Power corrupts. Elitism just is. Today’s world is all about individualism. The demand to be “special” has completely penetrated our Instagram world. Is everyone special? Sure. In the eyes of your loved ones and in your own heart. Maybe what’s wrong is how we’re measuring success. Maybe what’s wrong is the list of things we classify as important or “elite.” Does everyone truly have the right to the pursuit of happiness? While by modern measures we’re not all equal, aren’t we at least equal in the eyes of the law? In terms of the opportunities available to us?
—isms and —ists
You’re a racist. You’re a misogynist. You’re a (fill in word here). It goes without saying in a world filled with common sense, but since that’s not where we live, I’ll say it. Hate sucks. Oppression sucks. Humans do both. Are we blind to the incredible progress we’ve made in this country towards equality? Are we not making enough progress? Is everyone now an oppressed identity group that needs to be protected? But much like the boy crying wolf, all of the incessant shouting of “…ist!” is falling on deaf ears. At what point did the name calling elevate so completely to include nearly every human being on the planet? What group of people is immune and gets to set the rules about who is bad and evil and “ist” and needs to be shut down or canceled? When did we begin to fear speaking the truth about things for fear of the fingers being pointed and the potential of being canceled? Identity politics has made a solid FUBAR mess out of what we already strive for and have—diversity.
Antisemitism
This one is really hard to understand. It’s so old and so pervasive. For the life of me I can’t figure out why some people hate Jews so much. The recent butchery in Israel has served to expose this ugly truth once more. Spin it, twist the words, frame it in whatever little juvenile postmodern framework you want to—it’s fucking antisemitism.
Homelessness
Well, we’ve certainly made a mess of this one. We step over them on the streets. We throw money at non-profits. City Councils vote to purchase hotels and convert them into housing. We give up public parks to encampments. We create open-air drug markets under the illusion of “harm reduction.” We pick them up and move them conveniently (to where?) for visits by world leaders and photo opportunities. Yes, like much of what I’ve outlined here in this essay, it’s a complicated and nuanced problem. And again, the real spiritual solutions are not being discussed or made available. Addicts want to be near the drugs they seek. The vast majority of homeless individuals are addicts. We do them no favor helping them go anywhere else but into treatment and care. Otherwise, we’re simply condoning public cemeteries on our streets.
Are you still with me? Hang on we’re getting to the end of the most obvious ones. Then we can discuss some solutions.
Health Care
Is it a privilege, or a right? It’s not clear to me. If people won’t be responsible for caring for themselves, should society be responsible for their care when they become chronically sick? Does public health care work? See Britain and Canada for examples—it’s a mixed bag. Clearly the current cost of health care is untenable and unlikely to change. Barack Obama tried with the Affordable Care Act in 2010. We’ve had 13 years of evidence to review, and its effectiveness is still not clear. One positive outcome of ACA is that addiction treatment is a requirement, as well as treating pre-existing conditions. But what has that done to the cost of health care for everyone? Corporate consolidation is creating fewer health care facility choices. Doctors and nurses and other front-line caregivers are at their limits. Is telehealth the answer? Does the medical profession need to re-examine the meaning behind the Hippocratic Oath, or do they just need different Lords writing their paychecks?
Addiction
Obviously personal to me. I’ve written about addiction and recovery at length here on Of a Sober Mind. All aspects of it. My war stories are just as painful and ugly as anyone else’s. My recovery is no more or less miraculous than anyone else’s. It simply is a gift that I can write about it with 14 years of sobriety as perspective. But in terms of how addiction affects our society at large, I believe you can make a reasonable argument that self-medication is a root cause of many, if not all of the issues outlined here in this essay. I get it—there’s a lot in the world to cope with as a human being, and it’s fucking hard to do it sober. Let’s look at some of the clear symptoms of addiction and see if they resemble what you’re seeing in our culture with your own eyes—utter unmanageability.
—dishonesty and lying
—getting away with it, or trying to
—anger, sadness, depression, over-reaction
—isolation, loneliness, separation, division
—violence, impulsiveness, disregard for consequences
—shitty decision making
—selfishness and self-centeredness
—arrogance and false pride
—relationship and family issues
—suicide
Spiritual solutions are the only way out. Humans bereft of a spiritual center are doomed.
Fentanyl poisoning
This one both does and doesn’t cover addiction. The war on drugs hasn’t worked. I’ve written on this in a past essay here. The fentanyl (pronounced fen-ta-nil…not fen-ta-nol) is mostly an issue of poisoning, not of addiction. Although addicts can also overdose on the potent drug, their tolerances usually can prevent this. The alarming issue is that fentanyl is turning up in the supply as counterfeit pharmaceuticals taken every day by Americans. Is China culpable for supplying the base chemicals? Are the cartels responsible for productizing the chemicals into counterfeit pharmaceuticals? Is the open border situation exacerbating both of these? The answer is yes.
Funding foreign wars/Ukraine/Afghanistan pullout
This is what America does. The war machine needs to be fed, either by our direct involvement in conflicts or by our not-so-discrete funding of conflicts. Our last two major war involvements—Vietnam and Iraq/Afghanistan—have proven disastrous, have cost billions in American lives and taxpayer dollars, and both had pullouts that looked like clown shows. Yet here we go yippy-skippy into Ukraine and the Middle East. Because it’s what we do as the World’s police force and army. Clearly as patriots we want to protect ourselves from having these conflicts arrive on our own shores. Clearly, we are compassionate and generous people who support international freedoms for others. Clearly, we’re broke because of it. Does any of it make us safer? See Immigration above.
Young men
Young men are clearly struggling. Why? Lack of fathers, role models or positive peer groups? Social media? Isolation? The focus on women’s empowerment for decades? Confusion about what is expected of them as men? See Gender section above. All of the above? You have to look no further than the profile of school shooters. Look no further than the tens of thousands of broken young veterans returning home from service. Young men are in trouble and need our help.
Young women
The comparison culture of social media has been crippling to girls and young women. More young women aspire to be influencers now than do doctors, lawyers, and entrepreneurs. Birth rates are dropping precipitously. Motherhood is no longer considered a worthy occupation. See anything written by Jonathan Haidt for data.
Secularism
Fewer and fewer Americans are affiliated with a church. While I believe in my God who offered me a chance to live again, I’m not a fan of organized religion. My recovery peers make up my church. But church has a generally positive effect on most people, giving them a community of peers, they might not otherwise have. Church also allows for a centralized way for people to set aside time for prayer, for self-reflection, and for humility in the face of their maker. Many of my friends who call themselves Christian never go to church. Many of my Jewish friends practice even less at their faith—it’s more of a family identity than a religion to them. To each his own practice. It’s important to have a faith in something or someone other than yourself. The Universe? Nature? OK. The point is that religion has always been a targeted point of controversy and political hatred, and that has impact on our culture. If religion is to blame, one might logically concur that a more secular society would be a more peaceful and less divided one. Evidence indicates that you’d be wrong. As with many of the issues presented above, it’s not the fact that a person has faith or doesn’t that is the problem. The problem is that people who believe differently are the enemy.
OK I’m starting to run out of steam. The list is truly endless, and I’d like to move along to suggested solutions.
It may sound trite to offer up the Serenity Prayer in light of these serious issues, but I’m going to do it anyway. Because I believe it’s at the core of the solution.
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. The courage to change the things I can. The wisdom to know the difference.”
Read that carefully. Are you God? No matter how cool you are, I would submit that you’re not. But more importantly, if you don’t have a concept of a power greater than yourself (see First Step above) then you must think that you’re God. Any ole thing might do for you—a community—a purpose—a family—it just can’t be only you that you believe in.
Second Step: “came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”
If we’ve collectively lost our minds, which I submit we have, how can we begin to fix it. Well—we can’t. You can’t fix anything except your own reaction and response to an out-of-control world. You must start with yourself. You must. Acceptance and surrender are the keys. I have many friends with whom I disagree with on many issues. I don’t let it erode our friendship. Our mutual respect and love for one another comes in finding the similarities rather than the differences. I give them grace, and hopefully they respond in kind. As Eckhart Tolle says, “Grace is found in accepting the unacceptable.”
One person can make a difference by finding one other person who believes similarly. We love our tribes and our communities. What has gone terribly wrong is that we find those tribes online. We find them without any real shared experience. The alliance is shallow, based on things other than our shared humanity, and we vilify those that disagree with our beliefs. “Republicans are stupid.” “The Left has ruined the country.” “The kids these days.” “Tenure is idiotic.” “Fucking evangelists.” “Fuck the cops.” “Blue states.” “Red states.” “It’s your fucking fault.”
If I agree with 80% of what someone else believes, but can’t stand the other 20% of what they believe, can I stop focusing on the 20 and focus instead on the 80? I dunno—can I? We can stop identifying ourselves by irrelevant labels and simply think of ourselves as human beings.
We can do it. But it requires looking within for the solution, rather than looking outside for someone who is not ever coming. No one will save your ass except you. People who care can intervene, offer to help, actually help—but unless you’re willing to do the work internally and change your own heart and mind—don’t waste their time. Let the haters hate. Quit trying to change their mind. They can’t change yours.
Trust in your own ability to change. Know that your change will impact those around you. And then those around them. Not by saying it. Not by shouting it. Not by carrying a stupid sign. Begin doing the work. On yourself. It’s all you have and it’s a lot.
And vote. We used to be able to trust that. Wait—I left one off the list.
Thank you! Great idea. It would certainly be more effective than a bunch of A-listers singing “we are the World”
This was such a Great Write, a pleasure to read, if you ever want to discuss health care in Canada, contact me, we can speak.